One thing I am not as a person is a crazy outgoing social butterfly. Shocker, I know. There are times when I can handle social environments but more often than not, I am the exact opposite. I tend to be really quiet when surrounded by people, and that can be exaggerated when I don't know anyone. Sometimes it can come off as rude, but socializing with strangers is not a talent I possess.
This morning I donated platelets and seeing as it was 7:30AM, I was crazy tired from staying up late watching the Lakers/Celtics game. I wanted to be left alone, sit in my chair, watch my movie, and donate some blood. It was too early for social interaction. However, when I arrived, there were already a few donors sitting waiting their turn. So I sat down and waited as well.
One of the donors was just talking everyone's ear off. It's like he didn't get the social clue that being talkative at that time of morning wasn't cool. People at the gym sometimes do this, sorry but I can't talk, I'm running here. But the other donor's gave in, and were nice back. He wasn't being rude, but instead he was showering everyone with his happy and loud attitude, which I found annoying at 7:30AM. As I sat there, he continued to look at me as well as the other donor's saying random comments to get us to talk to him. I never responded and I think he got the clue that I wasn't interested in interaction.
I wasn't being mean, it was more just me turning my attention in another direction so that he understood I wasn't interested in conversing. When we finished donating, we found ourselves sitting at the snack table where he continued his social way with the volunteer working there. So I continued my quiet cold shoulder.
All day I had been wondering whether I was rude or justified? It was a self assessment situation for me. Sometimes I can small talk, but I shouldn't be forced into it. When I got home and found the quote of the day on my computer, I feel it cleared up how I felt:
"A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company."
All I wanted was my solitude, any company would have been a bore.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Unprompted Kindness
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1 comments:
My students and I talk about situations like this in Interpersonal Comm. That dude might have been the nicest guy in the world, but he is socially inept. He cannot read nonverbal communication. Lack of eye contact, turning your body even slightly the other direction, no smile...it all shouts, "Leave me alone!" His bad, not yours.
It's like a puppy who keeps going after an adult dog, trying to play, and the adult dog keeps growling and snapping at the puppy. The puppy hasn't learned dog language yet. Same with your guy.
By: Hillary on June 23, 2010 at 9:50 PM
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